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Another Essay [23 Dec 2009|10:56pm]

xxoversharexx
Don't Tell Me How to Dance!: An Essay on Black Music in America
By Bradley White

As racist as some of the things I've said in my life make me seem, I am actually very accepting of all races. I love peanut butter (thanks George Washington Carver), I'm a basketball nut, and I have always embraced black music. Growing up I loved Warren G., Boyz II Men, and Jimi Hendrix. As I grew older, I began to notice the bossy attitude of black musicians.

I'm not sure why this is so common. White musicians are storytellers. It's a third person perspective. Black musicians are very intense and want to involve the listener. This works to an extent, but at some point you have to say, "I'm sorry Lil Jon, but this is as low as I get." If they aren't telling the listener what to do, they are bossing around another character in the song. Let's take a look at some examples.

"Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" - Michael Jackson
I thought I'd ease in with an arguably black singer. The title pretty much says it all, but gives the illusion that he's doing you a favor. Michael is really good at tricking you into your own comfort zone. Then you hear lines like "Get closer to my body now," "Just love me," and the haunting "touch me." That's about enough of that.

"Girls on the Dance Floor" - Far East Movement
Once again, the African-American strategy for getting a woman is something that would never ever work in a Caucasian relationship. I'll translate.
BLACK - "Why don't you grab your girls and chill wit a star?"
WHITE - "Would you and your friends like to join me? I'm very successful."
The charm of cockiness gets lost somewhere in the color barrier.
BLACK - "Follow me to the flo'."
WHITE - "Would you like to dance?"
Really? Flo'? Floor is already a single syllable.
BLACK - "Get yo' ass on the flo'!"
WHITE - "Will you please dance with me? I'm desperately needing a partner."
Sir, the lady already said she'd prefer not to dance. You and your hoodlum friends need to move along.

The only thing worse than that is white people imitating it. Of course, this is inevitable. I give you one more song.
"Tik Tok" - Kesha
This is probably one of the five worst songs I have ever heard. By the end of the first verse, this white girl has told you that she brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels (fucking retarded) and wears glasses (totally relevant to this party song). She then commands the DJ to blow up her speakers. Trust us, Kesha. After 30 seconds of this tripe, that was our main objective. She also insists that we "don't stop" and "make it pop." What we mustn't stop doing is unclear, as well as what exactly she would like us to pop. I feel this song has taken the essay on a tangent, but it's just so hideously terrible. One line says it all.
"The dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger, but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."
Mick Jagger? Like Rolling Stones Mick Jagger? I know every young woman longs for nothing more than a 66 year old in tight clothes with a face that's been beatin' to shit by every drug imaginable. Kesha, you are awful.

So this essay didn't quite go as planned. Let's try a second title.

Bossy Black Musicians and How Much I Hate Kesha
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Paging Dr. Faggot! [22 Dec 2009|11:10pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | crazy ]

Some people have a totally warped perspective on what qualifies as success.

"To be great is to be misunderstood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson



Ever have a time in your life where everything is a metaphor? Everything seems to be pointing at something. It's like God is dropping hints but I just don't quite get it.

I have the strangest feeling that a very substantial event is about to happen and I have no idea why. Maybe I'm just going insane.



On another topic, anyone have a basket I can put all these eggs in?

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I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust. [20 Dec 2009|11:25pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Third Eye Blind - Blinded ]

So last night Panza and I went to Four Peaks with Kayla, Gina, and some of their friends. Once Panza found out Kayla's major is Women's Studies, it got pretty intense. We talked about Jersey Shore and it's awfulness, Panza's bisexual Friday evenings, and how we are on Team Chris Brown. There was also a table of cougars that we chilled with. They thought I was 20 despite the fact that we were in a bar. We also befriended our waitresses, Scarf and Shadowcat.

On the way out there were cop cars going up and down the street. They had a loudspeaker on saying "Perpetrator, give yourself up or our dogs will bite you." They also repeated it in Spanish.

Today I went to Julia's graduation party. It was pretty low key but it was nice to see Caroline and Scott cause I never ever see them. Laura came too, which was a fantastic treat.

I went to Panza's later. We watched a lot of vids from the past few days. Geoff bought me The Hangover for Christmas so the three of us watched it. Alicia showed up later and showed us her Christian side legs. What a slut!

Three more days of work before my Christmas break.

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Every time I hear Northstar [19 Dec 2009|02:16pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | Saves the Day - Always Ten Feet Tall ]

Work has been going pretty well. It's very difficult physically which I like because I might actually become a light shade of strong. All the people are really cool, Scott and Mike are cool bosses, and I get to hang out with Caroline at lunch. If it paid more I don't think I would have too much to complain about.

Last night we had Karaoke as usual. Panza and I took tons of video so I'll have to make another montage soon. I sang "Love Story" by Taylor Swift and just ruined it beyond repair. Panza, Sami, and Mike came over afterwards and we drank and talked of the nonsense drunkbrad.com will display.

I have less than half of my Christmas shopping done. I should probably get on that.

I have a 5 day weekend for Christmas. That is neat.

Probably meeting up with an old friend from high school tonight. I haven't seen her in a couple years, so that will be cool.
__________

I could be the one who's dragged home at night
Away from all my hopeless dreams
You and me will forge some future
Because we don't want to be waiting
For something right to go wrong

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Gabriela [15 Dec 2009|10:42pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | Encouraged ]
[ music | Talking Heads ]

Get out of my dreams.
Get into my car.

I don't care that you're from Jordan and have a Hungarian accent, as long as we can watch Suns games.





My body hurts entirely. One more day before my day off.

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You out clubbin? Well I just made caramel delight! [13 Dec 2009|07:48pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Q and Not U ]

Pretty good weekend. So much happened but I don't really feel like typing it all out.

Finally got some songs going. Excited to get them tweaked and do some recording.

First 10 hour day tomorrow. Time to get dirty strong.

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The Best [10 Dec 2009|11:33pm]

xxoversharexx
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Pulp ]

What a day!

Woke up and headed to my first day at TCH. I had orientation in the morning. There was one other new employee there named Liam. During our paperwork he told HR that something was "retarded." TCH works with people who have developmental disabilities. Smooth.

After orientation I had lunch with Caroline and some of her office pals. They basically did everything they told us not to do in orientation.

After lunch I started working in the shredding department. Chris and Jenny showed me the ropes and it was actually pretty easy. I believe I start forklift training tomorrow and I will meet Mike who is apparently the head shred. Rad.

After work, Caroline and I went to Discount Tire then to Extreme Bean before heading to Panza's. We went with Panza and Alicia to the store to get some drinks. Panza bought a cake and had the baker write "Happy Post-Op Caroline!" Epic. Goat made us some delicious pasta and Sami made some scrumptious garlic bread. Alicia and I played Super Mario and I beat it like a boss. Sami got us all Christmas gifts. She got me CDs of Pulp and Q & Not You. Caroline was coloring and recreated the most authentic Princess Jasmine. Panza kicked my ass at NBA Live again. The Office was fantastic as always.
______

The future's owned by you and me
There won't be fighting in the street
They think they've got us beat
But revenge is going to be so sweet
We're making a move, we're making it now
We're coming out of the sidelines

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